"Because you are alive, everything is possible."
i’m known to walk alone
but i’m alone for a reason
will i ever find my equal?
So #blessed to live in LA! Love January beach days! #100happydays (at Santa Monica Beach, Tower 16)
This past year taught me a lot about grace and giving. I’m thankful but never have I been so glad for a new year.
But then I woke up to the most bizarre email supposedly from you but likely penned by your new/old girlfriend on New Year’s Day. And as graceful as I try to be I have never wanted more to slap you across the face.
How dare you tell me/allow her to say that shit about me and not even stand up for me for a moment? You spineless piece of shit. I was nothing to you? I think you mean that you were nothing to me. You gave me nothing. And despite that I was only a good friend to you. A really fucking good friend.
Who was with you at the hospital visiting your dad? Who went to church with you? And not just church—the same fucking church where we had my dad’s funeral and it brought back the worst memory and it was so traumatic and I cried but I stayed the entire mass anyways, for you. Because you needed me. Who cooked thanksgiving dinner with your family and sat at their table? Me. Because you asked me to. So I did. And meanwhile you were probably talking to her while I was doing dishes with your Mom. In the end I walked because you were thankless and selfish. But I forgave you. Then I found out you were also a fucking liar. But you can’t even apologize for that.
And now you want to go as far as to deny how good I was to you??? Fuck you. I hope you’re proud of yourself. You’re a coward. I don’t regret for a moment giving you all of that. It’s who I am and I am proud to have a giving heart. But that doesn’t mean I am not fucking pissed at you for turning out to be such an asshole when I believed you had a good heart too. I learned my lesson. I don’t want your apologies or your regrets. You burned this fucking bridge and there’s no rebuilding it.
Don’t you know that you seem
Just a little crazy
You had my trust and intimacy
But you threw it away just threw it away
And now it’s all in the past
When I think of you
I just laugh
My friends must have thought
I was high to have given so much
To someone not worth my time
Funny how sometimes
You can really lose your mind
And do things you would never do…
one week until i am on a plane to europe and my best friend and beauty and happiness and sanity and thousands of miles away from all this fucking bullshit. i cannot wait.
Seventy times seven
So have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there’s ice on all the roads
You can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
And again when your head goes through the windshield
i have never been so fucking furious.
this is how good girls become the kind of girls that fuck people over.
because they get fucked over one too many times.
i am done.
i am never taking care of anyone but me ever again.